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Catching Up

  • Jesus:

    Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.

  • Pete:

    Wow! You're back!

  • Jesus:

    Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?

  • Pete:

    ...don't you know all?

  • Jesus:

    It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.

  • Pete:

    And?

  • Jesus:

    You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.

  • Pete:

    Okay.

  • Jesus:

    Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.

  • Pete:

    Probably a smart move.

  • Jesus:

    But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?

  • Pete:

    Okay.

  • Jesus:

    Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?

  • Pete:

    Isn't that what Easter does?

  • Jesus:

    Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?

  • Pete:

    Kinda. Peeps taste good.

  • Jesus:

    Pardon?

  • Pete:

    Never mind.

  • Jesus:

    Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?

  • Pete:

    Yeah. Good Friday.

  • Jesus:

    ...

  • Pete:

    ...

  • Jesus:

    What was that?

  • Pete:

    Good Friday.

  • Jesus:

    GOOD Friday?

  • Pete:

    What's wrong?

  • Jesus:

    No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.

  • Pete:

    I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.

  • Jesus:

    ...

  • Pete:

    ...

  • Jesus:

    Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?

  • Pete:

    I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.

  • Jesus:

    I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"

  • Pete:

    That's like a kid's book title.

  • Jesus:

    I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.

  • Pete:

    You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?

  • Jesus:

    First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.

  • Pete:

    Ha!

  • Jesus:

    What?

  • Pete:

    Passions..it's just...never mind.

  • Jesus:

    And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."

  • Pete:

    Sorry.

  • Jesus:

    It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?

  • Pete:

    Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.

  • Jesus:

    So?

  • Pete:

    Uh oh.

There was a time I was trying to take my pullover off and I had devised a plan where I would be successful while also keeping my tshirt on. Unfortunately, everything around here is very static so my two shirts were stuck together and once I got my pullover half way off I realized my shirt came with it and then I was stuck and couldn’t go forward or back to get myself out of that mess and my husband was asleep and there was no one to help me but myself so I just sat there stuck for a minute.

That time was about 10 minutes ago.

I'm not taking very good care of the baby today!!

  • Me:

    I had another turkey sandwich and I'm working on finishing a large Diet Coke from Sonic.

  • Sarah:

    OMG! That sounds so good!

  • Me:

    Oh, it was!!

  • Sarah:

    I might do that tomorrow.

  • Me:

    What? Have a diet coke? Or the forbidden lunch meat? Both were excellent decisions.

  • Sarah:

    I think both!!

  • Me:

    I may be a bad influence, but I doubt you will regret those choices!

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